So, I'm in my last year of medical school, year 6! This year is our intern year, which in the US is the first year of residency, but here it is the last year of medical school. I will have to complete another intern year when I start residency, which will be different and challenging in its own ways.
How have things been so far this year? Hard! Not really hard as far as the course content, but the workload is killer! In my first rotation, Pediatrics, I was working 6-7 days a week from 7:30am to 4:00pm, and if everything was done at 4, I could go. If not, I stayed until everything was done or took my work home with me. I also had overnight call shifts every 5 days, and often times more often because I was making up calls that I missed by missing the first week of school. Also, I was doing early completion of calls so that I could participate in a medical conference back in the US. On top of all of the call and normal day time work, I also had to study like crazy for weekly exams in different areas of pediatrics. I am happy to report that Pediatrics is now over, and I finished well. For us in Cuba, Pediatrics is the most labor intensive and draining rotation. There is more documentation required than adult medicine, which is all written by hand, and is time consuming as well as hard on your wrist tendons.
This year, I feel at peace with everything in my life, even though I know I am about to experience a major life shift. Now that this experience is almost over, I want to make the most of it, regardless of how tired I am from all of the work I have to do. I'm already starting to miss all of my friends in Cuba, who have been with me for the past 6 years. Whether they are Cuban, American, African, Caribbean, Latino or otherwise, our relationships will be greatly affected by graduation. I hope to stay in contact with everyone, but things will surely be different, and I know it.
I've been thinking quite a bit already about where I want to go for residency, and where I want to live just in general. Do I go back to California? If I do, do I go to San Bernardino where my family is, or do I go back to the Bay area, my favorite area in California? Do I go to a place with even more need than California like Mississippi or Alabama or Detroit since I know I am called to serve an underserved community? Will I even be able to afford to apply all over the country? I'm just not sure about a lot of things. I know no matter what, everything will be fine, but my life is once again about to go into flux.
Everyone says this year passes faster than any other, so even though I still have 8 months, the two that have passed, BLEW by like they were 2 days! I just hope I can hold on to peace, love and positivity as well as productivity and the adrenaline that has kept me going so far!
Sunday, November 9, 2014
New Perspectives on Old Topics
For me a huge part of growing up and maturing was/is realizing how much my perspective influences my understanding and my experiences. Before very recently, I feel like I just went through life forming opinions about different things without really thinking about where that opinion came from or how that very same opinion influences how I feel, how I remember, how I experience, and really everything about my life because life really kind of boils down to a series of experiences that we then remember in a particular way. Well, now I try to be very conscious and intentional about how I feel about things so that I can have more positive experiences and thus more positive memories, and as a result a more positive life.
To give everyone an example of what I'm saying just in case it's too vague to for people to really grasp, I didn't like avocados for a long time. I wouldn't eat them, and when I did, I had already decided in my mind, without even knowing that I had decided, that eating them would be an unpleasant experience, that I wouldn't like. And of course, I would never be disappointed, and would always have a horrible experience eating avocados and so would avoid them. Then, little by little, I started to open my mind to the idea of eating avocados mostly because I didn't have access to the same sources of protein in Cuba that I had in the US, and they have really great proteins in them that are important for me to eat as a vegetarian person. Now before I even buy an avocado, I'm thinking about the savory, delicious, smooth taste of them, how much they do for my body, and how pleasurable it will be when I get to eat them, which in turn makes the experience that much better. It takes time of course to change what I thought the first 25 years of my life, but I LOVE avocados now, and eat them as often as I can! My initial hatred for them was really just a lack of experience with them, and a prejudice that I had against them as a result of only tasting them a few times without any context.
I've decided to apply this ideology to many areas of my life, food being one of the biggest examples. I now eat mangoes, eggplant, raw onion, garlic, and bell pepper, fish, plain unsweetened yogurt, unsweetened tea and all sorts of things, that I thought I would never be able to stomach, just because I've changed my perspective on them to include their importance as part of a healthy diet which will then lead to longevity, vitality and health.
Another area of my life is my medical school experience. I LOVE studying medicine in Cuba. I love it even when I hate it. The reason why I love it even when I hate it is because I know in my heart and mind that my medical school is a wonderful place to study and practice medicine. My medical school and Cuba as a country are not without fault, just like anything else. My struggle is to always take the positive aspects of my school and Cuba as a nation with me in order to apply those things to my future life as a healthcare provider and to use the things that I perceive to be negative as lessons in what not to do. It's hard. It's really hard when I feel like I'm being treated unfairly, or being deprived of things I need, or promises to me have been broken, but I have decided that it is more important to me to be continuously growing and to have positive and healthy life experiences than it is for me to feel sorry for myself or wallow in negativity. At the end of the day, what real value does feeling sorry for myself really have? I don't feel better after I've gone on a rant about how I've been wronged. I don't grow from it. There is no more justice in the world afterwards. What really calls me to action is not a long speech about how terrible my life is. Not at all. I am motivated by my hope that I and all people can change. That all people can feel compassion. That we can learn from our own and other people's mistakes and strengths in order to create a better world for all of us. And for me that better world starts with first having a positive self image and a positive image of other people and things that I value. Then forgiving myself and others for our faults, and instead of judging, using those qualities or actions or whatever to improve ourselves, and finally always being open to have a new perspective on an old topic, because it will in fact change my experience and thus my life.
To give everyone an example of what I'm saying just in case it's too vague to for people to really grasp, I didn't like avocados for a long time. I wouldn't eat them, and when I did, I had already decided in my mind, without even knowing that I had decided, that eating them would be an unpleasant experience, that I wouldn't like. And of course, I would never be disappointed, and would always have a horrible experience eating avocados and so would avoid them. Then, little by little, I started to open my mind to the idea of eating avocados mostly because I didn't have access to the same sources of protein in Cuba that I had in the US, and they have really great proteins in them that are important for me to eat as a vegetarian person. Now before I even buy an avocado, I'm thinking about the savory, delicious, smooth taste of them, how much they do for my body, and how pleasurable it will be when I get to eat them, which in turn makes the experience that much better. It takes time of course to change what I thought the first 25 years of my life, but I LOVE avocados now, and eat them as often as I can! My initial hatred for them was really just a lack of experience with them, and a prejudice that I had against them as a result of only tasting them a few times without any context.
I've decided to apply this ideology to many areas of my life, food being one of the biggest examples. I now eat mangoes, eggplant, raw onion, garlic, and bell pepper, fish, plain unsweetened yogurt, unsweetened tea and all sorts of things, that I thought I would never be able to stomach, just because I've changed my perspective on them to include their importance as part of a healthy diet which will then lead to longevity, vitality and health.
Another area of my life is my medical school experience. I LOVE studying medicine in Cuba. I love it even when I hate it. The reason why I love it even when I hate it is because I know in my heart and mind that my medical school is a wonderful place to study and practice medicine. My medical school and Cuba as a country are not without fault, just like anything else. My struggle is to always take the positive aspects of my school and Cuba as a nation with me in order to apply those things to my future life as a healthcare provider and to use the things that I perceive to be negative as lessons in what not to do. It's hard. It's really hard when I feel like I'm being treated unfairly, or being deprived of things I need, or promises to me have been broken, but I have decided that it is more important to me to be continuously growing and to have positive and healthy life experiences than it is for me to feel sorry for myself or wallow in negativity. At the end of the day, what real value does feeling sorry for myself really have? I don't feel better after I've gone on a rant about how I've been wronged. I don't grow from it. There is no more justice in the world afterwards. What really calls me to action is not a long speech about how terrible my life is. Not at all. I am motivated by my hope that I and all people can change. That all people can feel compassion. That we can learn from our own and other people's mistakes and strengths in order to create a better world for all of us. And for me that better world starts with first having a positive self image and a positive image of other people and things that I value. Then forgiving myself and others for our faults, and instead of judging, using those qualities or actions or whatever to improve ourselves, and finally always being open to have a new perspective on an old topic, because it will in fact change my experience and thus my life.
Friday, November 7, 2014
This is creativity, sustainability, and just overall great! 10 Uses for Newspaper!!!
Cubans use and re-use newspaper over and over again in ways that are both official and unofficial, which I think is cool. I thought I would blog it! I hope to upload pictures soon!
Here's a list of all of the uses I've seen for newspaper in order of what I think are the most common uses to the less common uses...
1. Toilet paper (both as recycled paper that you buy in the store and just crumpled up paper that people use in their homes)
2. Bottle insulator (you wrap your frozen water bottle in newspaper and then put it in a plastic bag, which keeps it cold and from wetting everything in your bag)
3. Hand towels (just grab one and dry your hands!)
4. Moisture keepers for fresh herbs and flowers (you wrap fresh basil, cilantro, oregano, lilies, etc in newspaper to keep them moist and fresh)
5. Seat covers (if a chair or bench is wet, you just fold some newspaper and put it down to sit on top of it so you don't get your clean dry clothes wet and dirty)
6. Wrapping paper (for gifts, packages, storage, etc)
7. Window shades (in lots of buildings, you will see newspaper taped to the windows I think to keep the sun out)
8. Hand held fan (with the write folding, newspapers can create a pretty nice breeze)
9. Dust pan
10. Book covers
Here's a list of all of the uses I've seen for newspaper in order of what I think are the most common uses to the less common uses...
1. Toilet paper (both as recycled paper that you buy in the store and just crumpled up paper that people use in their homes)
2. Bottle insulator (you wrap your frozen water bottle in newspaper and then put it in a plastic bag, which keeps it cold and from wetting everything in your bag)
3. Hand towels (just grab one and dry your hands!)
4. Moisture keepers for fresh herbs and flowers (you wrap fresh basil, cilantro, oregano, lilies, etc in newspaper to keep them moist and fresh)
5. Seat covers (if a chair or bench is wet, you just fold some newspaper and put it down to sit on top of it so you don't get your clean dry clothes wet and dirty)
6. Wrapping paper (for gifts, packages, storage, etc)
7. Window shades (in lots of buildings, you will see newspaper taped to the windows I think to keep the sun out)
8. Hand held fan (with the write folding, newspapers can create a pretty nice breeze)
9. Dust pan
10. Book covers
Monday, September 1, 2014
Monogene!
This is a very personal post, but I would like to share this with the world because I believe that others will relate and hopefully grow from my experience. I heard the word Monogene for the first time today on the gospel singing reality show Sunday Best, and it made me think of myself. I'm not sure if it's even positive or negative, but something about it touched me and made me want to post this...
The thing that's harder for me about practicing medicine than anything, is feeling like what and who you is so different that it couldn't possibly ever be good enough...
Just so people have an example, sometimes I have full conversations with people in Spanish, and I'll make one or two grammatical errors, like putting the wrong gender on a word, and the person I'm talking to will tell me, "You don't speak Spanish, huh?!?!" I don't know if I hold my face as if I'm confused, or if I give people blank stares, or what it is, but it's like, sometimes I just feel that some people, not most, but some completely misjudge me. It would be like me telling a healthy normal young person who locked their keys in their car once that they have dementia. It's like huh?!?!?! That's a gross overestimation of forgetfulness that anyone can see. You don't have to be a doctor to know that someone who forgot their keys doesn't have dementia. Imagine forgetting your keys one or twice and being told that you have dementia, and that'll kind of give you an idea of how I feel.
I am the only person in my family who has ever pursued higher education. My life makes simple questions like "Where do you live?" "What do your parents do?" and "How many siblings do you have?" "Where is your family from?" complicated. Of course people have no idea that they are complicated when they ask, but for me, they are. I feel uncomfortable around people because at any moment, I might get asked one of these questions. I don't know how to make small talk simple and be honest so I usually just simply my answers and say something that I know will be easy for the other person, even if it's not 100% accurate. Then sometimes I feel distant from my family too because I've lived away from them for so long, that sometimes we don't understand each other either. It's like being stuck between two worlds. It's rough...
Then being not only the only person who's a first generation college student, I'm also often times the only black person. I'm also usually the only person who's parents together gross less than $20,000 a year. I could go on, but I don't want to put my whole life on a blog. It's not just the material and educational things either. I feel different. I think different. I am different. I am truly an individual. I started to think maybe 10 years ago that I was an alien. I never felt like an alien growing up, but people would ask me how are you so different from your family? Where did you come from? Things that didn't make sense to me at the time, but somehow made me feel less human. I like to think that I'm a very confident person, but really, I have a deep deep inferiority complex. I know I am intelligent, capable, savvy, compassionate, empathetic, and overall just hard working and very HUMAN, but somehow I'm uncomfortable being successful. I have a hard time when people call me Dr. Dupree. Even after all these years of my patients in Cuba calling me Dr. Dupree, it just sounds wrong... I know I can do better to and for myself though, and I will! I deserve it!
For me, I know what I have to do is practice seeing myself as a successful person. Practice loving and accepting myself. I'm not perfect. But I am wonderful just because! I was born wonderful, and I deserve love and respect for being human and exactly who I am. It's hard to convince yourself of that when you're always being judged, misjudged, sized up, qualified, not qualified, and just spun through the ringer in "successful" America where difference is usually rejected. I want to encourage everyone out there to do the same. Visualize yourself as a leader! Power pose! Love and accept your talents!
I would like to hear from people who have felt the same way and what you did to fix it! People who know me know that I'm not a big blame placer and I'm very solution oriented, so I'd love to hear ideas about how to feel and be more than just scores, titles, status, income, etc, and how to love yourself despite all the worldly things that people use to decide your worth! I recently watched a TED talk about a woman who felt what I feel. And she actually dedicated her life's research to teaching people how to be more confident. Check her out because she's a cool chick! http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en
The thing that's harder for me about practicing medicine than anything, is feeling like what and who you is so different that it couldn't possibly ever be good enough...
Just so people have an example, sometimes I have full conversations with people in Spanish, and I'll make one or two grammatical errors, like putting the wrong gender on a word, and the person I'm talking to will tell me, "You don't speak Spanish, huh?!?!" I don't know if I hold my face as if I'm confused, or if I give people blank stares, or what it is, but it's like, sometimes I just feel that some people, not most, but some completely misjudge me. It would be like me telling a healthy normal young person who locked their keys in their car once that they have dementia. It's like huh?!?!?! That's a gross overestimation of forgetfulness that anyone can see. You don't have to be a doctor to know that someone who forgot their keys doesn't have dementia. Imagine forgetting your keys one or twice and being told that you have dementia, and that'll kind of give you an idea of how I feel.
I am the only person in my family who has ever pursued higher education. My life makes simple questions like "Where do you live?" "What do your parents do?" and "How many siblings do you have?" "Where is your family from?" complicated. Of course people have no idea that they are complicated when they ask, but for me, they are. I feel uncomfortable around people because at any moment, I might get asked one of these questions. I don't know how to make small talk simple and be honest so I usually just simply my answers and say something that I know will be easy for the other person, even if it's not 100% accurate. Then sometimes I feel distant from my family too because I've lived away from them for so long, that sometimes we don't understand each other either. It's like being stuck between two worlds. It's rough...
Then being not only the only person who's a first generation college student, I'm also often times the only black person. I'm also usually the only person who's parents together gross less than $20,000 a year. I could go on, but I don't want to put my whole life on a blog. It's not just the material and educational things either. I feel different. I think different. I am different. I am truly an individual. I started to think maybe 10 years ago that I was an alien. I never felt like an alien growing up, but people would ask me how are you so different from your family? Where did you come from? Things that didn't make sense to me at the time, but somehow made me feel less human. I like to think that I'm a very confident person, but really, I have a deep deep inferiority complex. I know I am intelligent, capable, savvy, compassionate, empathetic, and overall just hard working and very HUMAN, but somehow I'm uncomfortable being successful. I have a hard time when people call me Dr. Dupree. Even after all these years of my patients in Cuba calling me Dr. Dupree, it just sounds wrong... I know I can do better to and for myself though, and I will! I deserve it!
For me, I know what I have to do is practice seeing myself as a successful person. Practice loving and accepting myself. I'm not perfect. But I am wonderful just because! I was born wonderful, and I deserve love and respect for being human and exactly who I am. It's hard to convince yourself of that when you're always being judged, misjudged, sized up, qualified, not qualified, and just spun through the ringer in "successful" America where difference is usually rejected. I want to encourage everyone out there to do the same. Visualize yourself as a leader! Power pose! Love and accept your talents!
I would like to hear from people who have felt the same way and what you did to fix it! People who know me know that I'm not a big blame placer and I'm very solution oriented, so I'd love to hear ideas about how to feel and be more than just scores, titles, status, income, etc, and how to love yourself despite all the worldly things that people use to decide your worth! I recently watched a TED talk about a woman who felt what I feel. And she actually dedicated her life's research to teaching people how to be more confident. Check her out because she's a cool chick! http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Get Me into Residency!!!
I've started a Gofundme page to help with the cost of applying to residency. I have until September 2015 to raise money, form a list of programs, and enter the match! The match is a process that most US residency programs use to find medical school students and graduates to enter their programs.
If you are affiliated with a residency program, and think it would be a good fit for me, please let me know!
If you'd like to donate to the cost of applying, please visit my Gofundme page at http://www.gofundme.com/csvnz0
Yay for residency!
If you are affiliated with a residency program, and think it would be a good fit for me, please let me know!
If you'd like to donate to the cost of applying, please visit my Gofundme page at http://www.gofundme.com/csvnz0
Yay for residency!
Friday, July 25, 2014
Can't believe I'm almost done...
Wow!!! 6 years ago I started this journey. I didn't speak Spanish. I knew no one in Cuba. Really, I thought the idea of going to medical school in Cuba and for FREE was a rumor. I can't believe that 6 years have passed since I met Reverend Lucius Walker, Ellen Bernstein, Dr. Luther Castillo, Dr. Carmen Landau and Dr. Weng Wu, all of whom moved me with their stories! I remember being an idealistic young woman, convinced that medical education and health care should be free. That more efforts should be made to prevent illness and promote health, instead of just treating illness. That racial, gender, financial, religious and all other discrimination that have long been institutionalized, have a profound impact on health, and should be taken into consideration when brainstorming solutions to health problems.
I biked or used public transportation to go to work, and most other places. I was in LOVE with the San Francisco Bay Area! I was happy to live 411 miles away from my family and alone. I had a wonderful 1 bedroom apartment near Lake Merritt, and it was GREAT! I read all the Paulo Coehlo, Toni Morrison and any other fun novels I wanted. I watched videos on an online hula hooping magazine to learn cool hoop dance tricks. I even made hula hoops for friends and family to use for exercise. I had been on job for almost 6 years, where I had made lots of friends. I had a good life!
Now, 6 years later, I have spent 5 1/2 years living with people from all over the world! I am fluent in academic and conversational Spanish from interacting and studying with Spanish speakers from over 20 countries. I have learned about countries that I never knew existed. I have danced traditional dances that I never knew existed. I am one year away from becoming a medical doctor, when I really had given up on medicine before I applied to medical school in Cuba. I am obsessed with personal growth, world exploration, maintaining personal relationships with friends and family and just trying to spread love whenever I can.
I walk or take the bus most places I need to go. I love traveling across the island of Cuba. I'm not at all happy to live thousands of miles away from my family. After living with roommates, sometimes up to 22 women in one room, I have a hard time being alone. I have no time to hula hoop or read novels. I have no access to the internet or cable for that matter to keep up with hoop dance tricks or world affairs. I have tons of fun crafts on hold that I don't know when will get done, including a t shirt quilt with all my favorite shirts from high school and college. Most of my time is spent in a hospital or clinic or studying to give better care in a hospital or clinic. My life is very different, but yet still the same.
Still I am just a young woman who wants to make a better life for herself, her family and her community. I still work to take care of myself, my family, my community and the environment. I am still thirsty for knowledge and interested in learning and experiencing new things. I feel like the more I learn, the more I know I didn't know, and the more I want to learn. I'm more receptive to nonverbal clues and the subtleties of communication. I am looking forward to what my last year in Cuba will bring, and my return to the US for more than just work/study vacation. I feel like, my life is just starting, and I'm looking forward to giving back to the universe all of the blessings that I have received, especially over these last 6 years when I have depended on so many people to get me through. My life is still GREAT!
I biked or used public transportation to go to work, and most other places. I was in LOVE with the San Francisco Bay Area! I was happy to live 411 miles away from my family and alone. I had a wonderful 1 bedroom apartment near Lake Merritt, and it was GREAT! I read all the Paulo Coehlo, Toni Morrison and any other fun novels I wanted. I watched videos on an online hula hooping magazine to learn cool hoop dance tricks. I even made hula hoops for friends and family to use for exercise. I had been on job for almost 6 years, where I had made lots of friends. I had a good life!
Now, 6 years later, I have spent 5 1/2 years living with people from all over the world! I am fluent in academic and conversational Spanish from interacting and studying with Spanish speakers from over 20 countries. I have learned about countries that I never knew existed. I have danced traditional dances that I never knew existed. I am one year away from becoming a medical doctor, when I really had given up on medicine before I applied to medical school in Cuba. I am obsessed with personal growth, world exploration, maintaining personal relationships with friends and family and just trying to spread love whenever I can.
I walk or take the bus most places I need to go. I love traveling across the island of Cuba. I'm not at all happy to live thousands of miles away from my family. After living with roommates, sometimes up to 22 women in one room, I have a hard time being alone. I have no time to hula hoop or read novels. I have no access to the internet or cable for that matter to keep up with hoop dance tricks or world affairs. I have tons of fun crafts on hold that I don't know when will get done, including a t shirt quilt with all my favorite shirts from high school and college. Most of my time is spent in a hospital or clinic or studying to give better care in a hospital or clinic. My life is very different, but yet still the same.
Still I am just a young woman who wants to make a better life for herself, her family and her community. I still work to take care of myself, my family, my community and the environment. I am still thirsty for knowledge and interested in learning and experiencing new things. I feel like the more I learn, the more I know I didn't know, and the more I want to learn. I'm more receptive to nonverbal clues and the subtleties of communication. I am looking forward to what my last year in Cuba will bring, and my return to the US for more than just work/study vacation. I feel like, my life is just starting, and I'm looking forward to giving back to the universe all of the blessings that I have received, especially over these last 6 years when I have depended on so many people to get me through. My life is still GREAT!
Saturday, June 21, 2014
My Good Friend Lay
I have just been so blessed to meet a wonderfully kind, generous, loving woman named Lay, who lives just outside of my hospital in Havana. I thought she might be too kind to be a city slicker, and sure enough she's from a small rural town just outside of Havana. I met her for the first time in my 3rd year because she prepared delicious low cost food for students out of her home. Over the last 3 years, she has become a like a big sister to me, since she's not quite old enough to be my mother.
The first time I was convinced that she was amazing was when I sprained my ankle for the second time. She came to my house almost everyday and brought me food and arnica rub from fresh arnica leaves. She refused to accept payment for the food, which is crazy to me, since she doesn't make much money at all. It really touched me that what she did make she was willing to spend to make sure I had food at a time when I couldn't shop or cook for myself.
Over time, she has been a constant and consistent person in my life. She tells amazing stories that sometimes break my heart, but always end with a message of positivity, success over all obstacles and love toward our fellow mankind. Both in very concrete and emotional/spiritual ways, she has supported me and made my experience in Cuba wonderful and amazing. I know in her, I've made a friend for life and I just hope I can show her how much I love and appreciate her for everything she's done for me.
The first time I was convinced that she was amazing was when I sprained my ankle for the second time. She came to my house almost everyday and brought me food and arnica rub from fresh arnica leaves. She refused to accept payment for the food, which is crazy to me, since she doesn't make much money at all. It really touched me that what she did make she was willing to spend to make sure I had food at a time when I couldn't shop or cook for myself.
Over time, she has been a constant and consistent person in my life. She tells amazing stories that sometimes break my heart, but always end with a message of positivity, success over all obstacles and love toward our fellow mankind. Both in very concrete and emotional/spiritual ways, she has supported me and made my experience in Cuba wonderful and amazing. I know in her, I've made a friend for life and I just hope I can show her how much I love and appreciate her for everything she's done for me.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
What are the downsides of living in Cuba?
I feel like most people don’t really know what I struggle with everyday because I try not to be critical of things I don’t understand, and as such try to avoid saying negative things about this country that has so graciuosly given me a free medical education. I want everyone to understand though what it’s like living here, and I usually openly express all the positive things, so let me just spend a few mintues talking about some of the difficulties.
First, I don’t have access to air conditioning, hot water, electricity 24 hours a day, water 24 hours a day, a car that I can drive, comfort products made in the US like Dove soap, Always maxi pads, Aunt Jemima pancake mix, etc, the list goes on and on, but you all get the point. I lived here 3 years before I even bought a toilet seat. Some of this stuff is lacking here because that’s just normal in most parts of the world because most of the world lives in poverty, and Cuba is not one of the few exceptions. There’s also an economic blockage against Cuba that complicates things that much more and makes things like access to internet, phone calls home, fax and pretty much every form of communication that you can imagine really really hard. When I first came here, I embraced the struggle. I knew that this would be a temporary time in my life and so I just said, fine. I can do this. I didn’t have a toilet seat. I mostly hand washed my clothes, even blankets. Many of my meals came from the student dining hall, which is way less calorically and nutritionally than anyone needs to survive, but I was doing it, and I was proud of myself for being so strong. Plus I didn’t want to feel like I was wasting all the money people had so generously donated to me for my education on things like toilet seats or washing machines. So I roughed it.
I still feel very strongly that I should continue to rough it because the people of this country are giving up higher salaries and more comforts for themselves so that I can be here studying medicine. I appreciate them more than words can say. Even when I’m upset with my school, my neighbors, my patients, my professors, I try to always remind myself to be thankful for their sacrifices for me, who some perceive to be spoiled rich kid from America. You all know my story is miles away from that, but still, I understand and accept my position of priviledge with respect to people who don’t have the funds to come and go as they please, will never have access to Dove or Always,and will never make the kind of money that I will one day make practicing medicine. I try to remain humble and thankful and never boast or negate their stories of struggle because it’s real. Thanks to that very real stuggle, I walk several miles a day just going to school, proving food for myself and taking care of other necesities. It keeps me in shape if nothing else, lol.
To finish this I just want to list really quickly some of the most frustrating things…
When I have a final exam and the electricty goes off for hours (the professor doesn’t care! You better know the material!)
When I’m hungry, but so much time has passed since I last ate that I don’t even have the energy to walk to the store (you have to walk everywhere, even when you get a ride you have to walk to that ride)
When so hot that even sitting still in the shade makes you sweat and there’s nothing you can do about it…Nothing!
Waiting hours in line at the cheapest place in town to make international calls, and when it’s finally my turn, no one is home!
Spending a whole day trying to accomplish simple tasks like use the internet, but every place you go is either malfuntioning, closed for fumigation, or just otherwise unable to meet your needs, but this of course is after you spent the whole day running around, literally, and you still have not completed what you set out to complete.
So that’s it in a nutshell. People who know me best know that all food tastes better to me now. Hot water feels amazing and soothing. Car rides that I don’t have to walk to are like a marvel. Being able to wash my clothes in a machine just like blows my mind. I appreciate and live life in a way that I never could have had I not made the conscious decision to live without these things, and for that I thank and appreciate Cuba and really the third world as a whole. I love the compassion, strength, resilience and just overall generosity, determination and love that living here has taught me. These are lessons that will stay with me for life whether I chose to live forever in the US or practice medicine and live with the 98% of the world for whom life without those comforts is an everyday reality.
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
So very blessed!
I just found out 1. I passed my last board exam to apply for residency in the US!!!!! So exciting and amazing!!! I feel so very blessed to have the opportunity to practice medicine, and I'm glad that what looks like God's plan and my plan are one in the same. 2. I was selected for a summer job at Contra Costa Regional Medical Center!!!! This hospital trains some of the best doctors in the state and it would be an honor to go there for residency. I applied knowing that I may not be accepted, but I was, which is wonderful, scary and exciting!!! I'll be there in August this year! 3. My mom has just finished her first round of chemo and radiation and is feeling good. She didn't have any real reactions to the medication or radiation, and is still just like her normal self. Now we just wait and pray the tumor shrinks. Just thought I'd share those things with you all :)
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