Being back in the US is never easy. It's weird living abroad long term because you get so used to being a foreigner, that knowing what's going on around you is grounds to be a snob instead of just what's expected of you. Like for example, I kind of turned my nose up to the new foreigners in Cuba, who didn't know how to manage the 2 currency system or the bus routes. I would think in my head like "oh, you're new here huh?" It's weird being back in my home country, and being that person who doesn't know, who I would have turned my nose up to in Cuba. I have gotten used to it, and so have my friends and family, but when I meet people who don't know me, I have to give them the disclaimer "I don't know [fill in whatever obvious thing you feel people who are American should know] because I've been living outside the country for the last [X] years going to medical school in Cuba." Then I wait... Does this person know anything about Cuba? And if they do know something is what they believe positive or negative? Are they judging me? How do I smooth this over and make this a healthy conversation if they hate Cuba? and a whole series of questions that goes through my mind. It's this whole anxiety building cycle I go through everyday, since I never know when I'm not going to know something, and its been kind of been in constant in my life these past 6 years, but has definitely gotten worse over the years since my cultural knowledge deficit has increased exponentially over the years (especially since I quit social media). And I don't really know what I get so worked up about since most conversations end up being interesting and fun especially when people have heard about the great medical training in Cuba, or are impressed with the description I provide, or when we at least end up having a great conversation even if we disagree about Cuba, and I feel like I worked myself up about nothing. So yea, that's one aspect.
Its hard getting back on my feet. I went 6 1/2 years without an income. I survived by the grace of God and the kindness of humankind. Now it's time for me to get in the swing of things in the US, and it's not easy. I feel similar to a lot of college grads, trapped in this cycle of I need a job, so that I can make money and support myself, but I need money to get the job, so where do I start? I'm thankful to at least have offers for housing and food, and no dependents to worry about, so things are easier than they could be. I'm just hoping to transition to having transportation, credit, an income and overall being on my feet soon so that I can get out of the cycle of poverty once and for all.
Seeing and being with my family has been really awesome. I still feel strange when they call me Dr. Dupree. I prefer to just be called Meka, like they've always called me, but I blush when they call me Dr. Dupree, maybe because I know they are proud of me, and want to compliment me. I know my patients will refer to me very formally, and that I have to identify myself that way, so that people know who I am and why I'm in their exam room, but I don't feel the need to be called Dr. Dupree by my friends and family. I'm still Meka. You can keep calling me Meka. It's all good.
I'm doing my best this time, since my return feels very permanent, to see the beauty and goodness in this country and this culture. I don't hate the US, but I have been spoiled by my community life style in Cuba where people really care how you're doing when they ask, and they really do mean you can ask for anything and they'll be there for you if they say it, and they actually mourn the death of children even if they don't know them, and when people say you are like family, it's because they mean it, and just a long series of other sayings and actions that show one's humanity that has just nourished me in the hardest of times in Cuba. Now it's hard for me to appreciate certain things in the US. I know this country isn't all bad or filled with bad people, so please be patient with me, support me and help me see and understand the love that's here, so that I can ease into my transition home. This is afterall my home and where I would always choose to be. I am so thankful for the kindness my friends, family and some strangers have shown me, and I hope you know that you all are the ones who give me hope. You're all here and you have showed me love, so I too can live here and continue my goal of spreading love. Share your stories with me, and your experiences so that I will be inspired. That's your homework for all of my blog readers! I hope you can do that for me!
Monday, August 10, 2015
Medical School Graduation
So I'm back and I graduated! Yay!!! I was blessed to have 7 pre-graduation guests (4 Family Members!!!) and 6 graduation guests (Great Friends!!!!) that traveled all the way from different parts of the Unites States down to Cuba to be there to support me which I will always and forever appreciate. Also my fiance, Kareem, was there who forewent his own graduation party to be at my graduation ceremony and party (Kareem graduated the same day at 10am and my graduation was at 3pm so my ceremony was at the same time as his party.) I barely slept the night before preparing for graduation, then I was up to an early start for my $1 manicure/pedicure appointment and trip to the drycleaner to get my white coat pressed for 10 cents all before we headed out to Kareem's graduation at 9am.
I want to make everyone who wanted to be there, but couldn't make it, feel like they were there, so if you want to feel like you were there, and can find the time to read this, here's how it went:
The ceremony consisted of around 1500 graduates from all the medical sciences including medicine, nursing, dentistry, and other medical professions. There were 21 graduates from the US, all from medicine. The majority of the graduates were Cuban, but there were around 40% of us who were foreign students from 80 something countries from all over the world. The largest group of foreign students was from China with close to 400 graduates. The ceremony consisted of a number of inspiring speeches, poetic performances and musical numbers all dedicated to us and loving work we will do through the medical sciences. We were all seated on the lower level of a theater that seats 5000, while our family and friends sat in the upper levels of the theater. We are often referred to as an "Army of White Coats" so the ceremony was really the culmination of all of our success and not the success of each individual student.
At the end of the ceremony, we were all given our diplomas as a group after the Rector said this catchy line (even in Spanish it sounds catchy) "And now, what we've all been waiting for..." (the crowd goes wild) And he then says "The giving of the diplomas" That's when everyone stands up and finds their diploma giver, which for me was my professor and mentor Dr. Ana Maria Andreu. A woman who has mentored and taught me over the last 4 years, to whom I am eternally grateful for all the hours of dedication to my personal and professional growth.
Following the official ceremony, there was a long photo shoot, that was really more exhausting than anything else, but I'm grateful that I will soon have lots of pictures to share with you all. After the official ceremony and photo shoot, we were invited to a celebratory dinner hosted by IFCO/Pastors for Peace, the organization through which I applied to attend medical school in Cuba more than 7 years ago!
At the dinner, each graduate was invited to say a few words, and of course I cried reflecting on my journey, the support I've received from you all, and how unprecedented my graduation is in my family. We were then individually given a gift from Pastors for Peace and a gift from Congresswoman Barbara Lee. A series of photos followed, and we danced and were marry for about 10 minutes before we were absolutely exhausted and had no other choice but to go home and rest to plan for my good friend Tia's wedding, which was the next day.
It was a long day, but passed by so quickly, that I can't even imagine that I spent so many hours outside my home celebrating on that one day. I was not emotional until the party, when I realized, wow, this is over! I did it! Even still being home now feels like a summer vacation. Other graduates have told me that it feels more real when September comes and instead of preparing to go back to Cuba, the same as the last 6 years, I'll just be here lol. We'll see though...
So yea, that's the graduation!
I want to make everyone who wanted to be there, but couldn't make it, feel like they were there, so if you want to feel like you were there, and can find the time to read this, here's how it went:
The ceremony consisted of around 1500 graduates from all the medical sciences including medicine, nursing, dentistry, and other medical professions. There were 21 graduates from the US, all from medicine. The majority of the graduates were Cuban, but there were around 40% of us who were foreign students from 80 something countries from all over the world. The largest group of foreign students was from China with close to 400 graduates. The ceremony consisted of a number of inspiring speeches, poetic performances and musical numbers all dedicated to us and loving work we will do through the medical sciences. We were all seated on the lower level of a theater that seats 5000, while our family and friends sat in the upper levels of the theater. We are often referred to as an "Army of White Coats" so the ceremony was really the culmination of all of our success and not the success of each individual student.
At the end of the ceremony, we were all given our diplomas as a group after the Rector said this catchy line (even in Spanish it sounds catchy) "And now, what we've all been waiting for..." (the crowd goes wild) And he then says "The giving of the diplomas" That's when everyone stands up and finds their diploma giver, which for me was my professor and mentor Dr. Ana Maria Andreu. A woman who has mentored and taught me over the last 4 years, to whom I am eternally grateful for all the hours of dedication to my personal and professional growth.
Following the official ceremony, there was a long photo shoot, that was really more exhausting than anything else, but I'm grateful that I will soon have lots of pictures to share with you all. After the official ceremony and photo shoot, we were invited to a celebratory dinner hosted by IFCO/Pastors for Peace, the organization through which I applied to attend medical school in Cuba more than 7 years ago!
At the dinner, each graduate was invited to say a few words, and of course I cried reflecting on my journey, the support I've received from you all, and how unprecedented my graduation is in my family. We were then individually given a gift from Pastors for Peace and a gift from Congresswoman Barbara Lee. A series of photos followed, and we danced and were marry for about 10 minutes before we were absolutely exhausted and had no other choice but to go home and rest to plan for my good friend Tia's wedding, which was the next day.
It was a long day, but passed by so quickly, that I can't even imagine that I spent so many hours outside my home celebrating on that one day. I was not emotional until the party, when I realized, wow, this is over! I did it! Even still being home now feels like a summer vacation. Other graduates have told me that it feels more real when September comes and instead of preparing to go back to Cuba, the same as the last 6 years, I'll just be here lol. We'll see though...
So yea, that's the graduation!
Monday, February 23, 2015
Felpetopedia y Lemusopedia
I'm rotating through surgery right now, which is always fun and interesting. Most surgeons I find are very get-down-to-business type people who move fast and furiously. However, every now and then you meet surgeons who take their time and explain everything out in very clear, easy to understand language, starting at the beginning with the simple and working their way into the complex. Two surgeons just like that are Dr. Felpeto and Dr. Lemus. They are both older gentlemen who are truly gentlemen inside the operating room and outside. They are excellent professors who their residents and students affectionately call encyclopedias because of the many years of experience and dedication to staying current on all topics in surgery and have given them the nicknames Felpeto-pedia and Lemus-opedia. It has been a pleasure to rotate with them and get to know them better through my 6th year surgery rotation! Cheers to them both!
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Dread locs and Medicine
Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about how similar these two things are. Maybe not for everyone, but for me, they actually have taken me through similar journeys. If I were a poet, maybe I could have made this sound really beautiful, but I think you all will understand what I'm trying to express just fine. Here are my thoughts:
When I first started both, I was unsure of the outcome, and afraid of what people might say and think of me. I am a trail blazer in my family and close friends to do them both and LIVING outside the box is not easy. With both, there is no such thing as linear progression; just as my locs unravel every time I get my hair wet, sometimes I learn things in medicine and forget a week later, have to relearn it, and keep relearning it until it sticks, just like I have to twist and twist my locs until they are permanent. I can’t really see or feel my progress with either but when I look at my hair, it’s locked and when people ask me about medicine, I know stuff! When I look back on both, and think about where I started and how far I’ve come, I feel proud that I haven’t given up no matter how hard or hopeless I’ve felt. I know that both have required and will continue to require a lot of work in the future because neither is every done. I really love both and they are two of the things that people most remember about me... They're pretty much always part of the description people give when they describe me.
Well hope this was interesting! I love my locs, and I love medicine and hope to have them both in my life for a long time!
When I first started both, I was unsure of the outcome, and afraid of what people might say and think of me. I am a trail blazer in my family and close friends to do them both and LIVING outside the box is not easy. With both, there is no such thing as linear progression; just as my locs unravel every time I get my hair wet, sometimes I learn things in medicine and forget a week later, have to relearn it, and keep relearning it until it sticks, just like I have to twist and twist my locs until they are permanent. I can’t really see or feel my progress with either but when I look at my hair, it’s locked and when people ask me about medicine, I know stuff! When I look back on both, and think about where I started and how far I’ve come, I feel proud that I haven’t given up no matter how hard or hopeless I’ve felt. I know that both have required and will continue to require a lot of work in the future because neither is every done. I really love both and they are two of the things that people most remember about me... They're pretty much always part of the description people give when they describe me.
Well hope this was interesting! I love my locs, and I love medicine and hope to have them both in my life for a long time!
Pre-Nostalgia...
"A sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations." That's what the google dictionary says. I wonder is it possible to feel this way BEFORE something is actually in your past?
There are so many things about Cuba that I am going to miss! I can’t even really begin to explain the impact this country, this culture, this experience has had on my life, but I am going to make a short list of things that I will truly miss and yearn for when I get back home. This will be ongoing, so keep your eyes open for new items!
- Greeting my friends with "besitos." This is when you press your cheek to your friend's cheek and make a kissing sound. And when you are really happy to see someone you hold that press and make 5 or 6 kissing sounds right in a row! Best greeting ever!
- A coming “cold front” meaning that the temperature is going to drop from 80 something to 70 something degrees... great weather!
- Street vendors passing my house singing that flowers, bread, pastries, veggies, and other things have arrived! Not having to leave my house to shop!
- Random people in the street calling at me “negrita linda” or pretty black girl.
- Someone referring to a neighborhood as bad NOT because there are drugs, gangs and gun violence but because people are too nosy, play their music too loud and let their kids play in the street with no shoes on. I love my neighborhood here for some of those very same reasons.
- Strangers inviting me to their homes, giving me free rides, holding my hand as I walk down stairs, offering me their seat on the bus, and all the other random acts of kindness here that are normal here. (Just a quick story if you all have time: one day I was taking my trash out and the bag broke and all my trash fell in the street. My "nosy" neighbor, who I don't know at all, came out of her house and gave me a new trash bag! Random act of kindness!)
- All my professors who know my name and are personally invested in my success.
- All the things I can buy with a dollar (this is also a short list):
Theater productions, plays, musicals and jazz concerts
Beach trip
A full course of antibiotics
25 scoops of ice cream
2 personal cheese pizzas
22 eggs
A taxi ride from one city to the next
2 sangrias or mojitos
72 condoms or 48 condoms and 24 packs of lubricant
A full plate of food with fried fish, rice and beans, salad, and a second side dish
- Seeing people everywhere of all ages walking (and running to mostly catch the bus)!
- Seeing Tai Chi circles all over the city!
- Urban gardens with affordable vegetables!
- Seeing doctors everywhere!
- Seeing men with their children everywhere! Just the father and the kids...
- Cuban beaches... the only water that I can actually float and sort of swim in because it is calm, warm and salty!
There are so many things about Cuba that I am going to miss! I can’t even really begin to explain the impact this country, this culture, this experience has had on my life, but I am going to make a short list of things that I will truly miss and yearn for when I get back home. This will be ongoing, so keep your eyes open for new items!
- Greeting my friends with "besitos." This is when you press your cheek to your friend's cheek and make a kissing sound. And when you are really happy to see someone you hold that press and make 5 or 6 kissing sounds right in a row! Best greeting ever!
- A coming “cold front” meaning that the temperature is going to drop from 80 something to 70 something degrees... great weather!
- Street vendors passing my house singing that flowers, bread, pastries, veggies, and other things have arrived! Not having to leave my house to shop!
- Random people in the street calling at me “negrita linda” or pretty black girl.
- Someone referring to a neighborhood as bad NOT because there are drugs, gangs and gun violence but because people are too nosy, play their music too loud and let their kids play in the street with no shoes on. I love my neighborhood here for some of those very same reasons.
- Strangers inviting me to their homes, giving me free rides, holding my hand as I walk down stairs, offering me their seat on the bus, and all the other random acts of kindness here that are normal here. (Just a quick story if you all have time: one day I was taking my trash out and the bag broke and all my trash fell in the street. My "nosy" neighbor, who I don't know at all, came out of her house and gave me a new trash bag! Random act of kindness!)
- All my professors who know my name and are personally invested in my success.
- All the things I can buy with a dollar (this is also a short list):
Theater productions, plays, musicals and jazz concerts
Beach trip
A full course of antibiotics
25 scoops of ice cream
2 personal cheese pizzas
22 eggs
A taxi ride from one city to the next
2 sangrias or mojitos
72 condoms or 48 condoms and 24 packs of lubricant
A full plate of food with fried fish, rice and beans, salad, and a second side dish
- Seeing people everywhere of all ages walking (and running to mostly catch the bus)!
- Seeing Tai Chi circles all over the city!
- Urban gardens with affordable vegetables!
- Seeing doctors everywhere!
- Seeing men with their children everywhere! Just the father and the kids...
- Cuban beaches... the only water that I can actually float and sort of swim in because it is calm, warm and salty!
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Just an update... 6th year so far!
So, I'm in my last year of medical school, year 6! This year is our intern year, which in the US is the first year of residency, but here it is the last year of medical school. I will have to complete another intern year when I start residency, which will be different and challenging in its own ways.
How have things been so far this year? Hard! Not really hard as far as the course content, but the workload is killer! In my first rotation, Pediatrics, I was working 6-7 days a week from 7:30am to 4:00pm, and if everything was done at 4, I could go. If not, I stayed until everything was done or took my work home with me. I also had overnight call shifts every 5 days, and often times more often because I was making up calls that I missed by missing the first week of school. Also, I was doing early completion of calls so that I could participate in a medical conference back in the US. On top of all of the call and normal day time work, I also had to study like crazy for weekly exams in different areas of pediatrics. I am happy to report that Pediatrics is now over, and I finished well. For us in Cuba, Pediatrics is the most labor intensive and draining rotation. There is more documentation required than adult medicine, which is all written by hand, and is time consuming as well as hard on your wrist tendons.
This year, I feel at peace with everything in my life, even though I know I am about to experience a major life shift. Now that this experience is almost over, I want to make the most of it, regardless of how tired I am from all of the work I have to do. I'm already starting to miss all of my friends in Cuba, who have been with me for the past 6 years. Whether they are Cuban, American, African, Caribbean, Latino or otherwise, our relationships will be greatly affected by graduation. I hope to stay in contact with everyone, but things will surely be different, and I know it.
I've been thinking quite a bit already about where I want to go for residency, and where I want to live just in general. Do I go back to California? If I do, do I go to San Bernardino where my family is, or do I go back to the Bay area, my favorite area in California? Do I go to a place with even more need than California like Mississippi or Alabama or Detroit since I know I am called to serve an underserved community? Will I even be able to afford to apply all over the country? I'm just not sure about a lot of things. I know no matter what, everything will be fine, but my life is once again about to go into flux.
Everyone says this year passes faster than any other, so even though I still have 8 months, the two that have passed, BLEW by like they were 2 days! I just hope I can hold on to peace, love and positivity as well as productivity and the adrenaline that has kept me going so far!
How have things been so far this year? Hard! Not really hard as far as the course content, but the workload is killer! In my first rotation, Pediatrics, I was working 6-7 days a week from 7:30am to 4:00pm, and if everything was done at 4, I could go. If not, I stayed until everything was done or took my work home with me. I also had overnight call shifts every 5 days, and often times more often because I was making up calls that I missed by missing the first week of school. Also, I was doing early completion of calls so that I could participate in a medical conference back in the US. On top of all of the call and normal day time work, I also had to study like crazy for weekly exams in different areas of pediatrics. I am happy to report that Pediatrics is now over, and I finished well. For us in Cuba, Pediatrics is the most labor intensive and draining rotation. There is more documentation required than adult medicine, which is all written by hand, and is time consuming as well as hard on your wrist tendons.
This year, I feel at peace with everything in my life, even though I know I am about to experience a major life shift. Now that this experience is almost over, I want to make the most of it, regardless of how tired I am from all of the work I have to do. I'm already starting to miss all of my friends in Cuba, who have been with me for the past 6 years. Whether they are Cuban, American, African, Caribbean, Latino or otherwise, our relationships will be greatly affected by graduation. I hope to stay in contact with everyone, but things will surely be different, and I know it.
I've been thinking quite a bit already about where I want to go for residency, and where I want to live just in general. Do I go back to California? If I do, do I go to San Bernardino where my family is, or do I go back to the Bay area, my favorite area in California? Do I go to a place with even more need than California like Mississippi or Alabama or Detroit since I know I am called to serve an underserved community? Will I even be able to afford to apply all over the country? I'm just not sure about a lot of things. I know no matter what, everything will be fine, but my life is once again about to go into flux.
Everyone says this year passes faster than any other, so even though I still have 8 months, the two that have passed, BLEW by like they were 2 days! I just hope I can hold on to peace, love and positivity as well as productivity and the adrenaline that has kept me going so far!
New Perspectives on Old Topics
For me a huge part of growing up and maturing was/is realizing how much my perspective influences my understanding and my experiences. Before very recently, I feel like I just went through life forming opinions about different things without really thinking about where that opinion came from or how that very same opinion influences how I feel, how I remember, how I experience, and really everything about my life because life really kind of boils down to a series of experiences that we then remember in a particular way. Well, now I try to be very conscious and intentional about how I feel about things so that I can have more positive experiences and thus more positive memories, and as a result a more positive life.
To give everyone an example of what I'm saying just in case it's too vague to for people to really grasp, I didn't like avocados for a long time. I wouldn't eat them, and when I did, I had already decided in my mind, without even knowing that I had decided, that eating them would be an unpleasant experience, that I wouldn't like. And of course, I would never be disappointed, and would always have a horrible experience eating avocados and so would avoid them. Then, little by little, I started to open my mind to the idea of eating avocados mostly because I didn't have access to the same sources of protein in Cuba that I had in the US, and they have really great proteins in them that are important for me to eat as a vegetarian person. Now before I even buy an avocado, I'm thinking about the savory, delicious, smooth taste of them, how much they do for my body, and how pleasurable it will be when I get to eat them, which in turn makes the experience that much better. It takes time of course to change what I thought the first 25 years of my life, but I LOVE avocados now, and eat them as often as I can! My initial hatred for them was really just a lack of experience with them, and a prejudice that I had against them as a result of only tasting them a few times without any context.
I've decided to apply this ideology to many areas of my life, food being one of the biggest examples. I now eat mangoes, eggplant, raw onion, garlic, and bell pepper, fish, plain unsweetened yogurt, unsweetened tea and all sorts of things, that I thought I would never be able to stomach, just because I've changed my perspective on them to include their importance as part of a healthy diet which will then lead to longevity, vitality and health.
Another area of my life is my medical school experience. I LOVE studying medicine in Cuba. I love it even when I hate it. The reason why I love it even when I hate it is because I know in my heart and mind that my medical school is a wonderful place to study and practice medicine. My medical school and Cuba as a country are not without fault, just like anything else. My struggle is to always take the positive aspects of my school and Cuba as a nation with me in order to apply those things to my future life as a healthcare provider and to use the things that I perceive to be negative as lessons in what not to do. It's hard. It's really hard when I feel like I'm being treated unfairly, or being deprived of things I need, or promises to me have been broken, but I have decided that it is more important to me to be continuously growing and to have positive and healthy life experiences than it is for me to feel sorry for myself or wallow in negativity. At the end of the day, what real value does feeling sorry for myself really have? I don't feel better after I've gone on a rant about how I've been wronged. I don't grow from it. There is no more justice in the world afterwards. What really calls me to action is not a long speech about how terrible my life is. Not at all. I am motivated by my hope that I and all people can change. That all people can feel compassion. That we can learn from our own and other people's mistakes and strengths in order to create a better world for all of us. And for me that better world starts with first having a positive self image and a positive image of other people and things that I value. Then forgiving myself and others for our faults, and instead of judging, using those qualities or actions or whatever to improve ourselves, and finally always being open to have a new perspective on an old topic, because it will in fact change my experience and thus my life.
To give everyone an example of what I'm saying just in case it's too vague to for people to really grasp, I didn't like avocados for a long time. I wouldn't eat them, and when I did, I had already decided in my mind, without even knowing that I had decided, that eating them would be an unpleasant experience, that I wouldn't like. And of course, I would never be disappointed, and would always have a horrible experience eating avocados and so would avoid them. Then, little by little, I started to open my mind to the idea of eating avocados mostly because I didn't have access to the same sources of protein in Cuba that I had in the US, and they have really great proteins in them that are important for me to eat as a vegetarian person. Now before I even buy an avocado, I'm thinking about the savory, delicious, smooth taste of them, how much they do for my body, and how pleasurable it will be when I get to eat them, which in turn makes the experience that much better. It takes time of course to change what I thought the first 25 years of my life, but I LOVE avocados now, and eat them as often as I can! My initial hatred for them was really just a lack of experience with them, and a prejudice that I had against them as a result of only tasting them a few times without any context.
I've decided to apply this ideology to many areas of my life, food being one of the biggest examples. I now eat mangoes, eggplant, raw onion, garlic, and bell pepper, fish, plain unsweetened yogurt, unsweetened tea and all sorts of things, that I thought I would never be able to stomach, just because I've changed my perspective on them to include their importance as part of a healthy diet which will then lead to longevity, vitality and health.
Another area of my life is my medical school experience. I LOVE studying medicine in Cuba. I love it even when I hate it. The reason why I love it even when I hate it is because I know in my heart and mind that my medical school is a wonderful place to study and practice medicine. My medical school and Cuba as a country are not without fault, just like anything else. My struggle is to always take the positive aspects of my school and Cuba as a nation with me in order to apply those things to my future life as a healthcare provider and to use the things that I perceive to be negative as lessons in what not to do. It's hard. It's really hard when I feel like I'm being treated unfairly, or being deprived of things I need, or promises to me have been broken, but I have decided that it is more important to me to be continuously growing and to have positive and healthy life experiences than it is for me to feel sorry for myself or wallow in negativity. At the end of the day, what real value does feeling sorry for myself really have? I don't feel better after I've gone on a rant about how I've been wronged. I don't grow from it. There is no more justice in the world afterwards. What really calls me to action is not a long speech about how terrible my life is. Not at all. I am motivated by my hope that I and all people can change. That all people can feel compassion. That we can learn from our own and other people's mistakes and strengths in order to create a better world for all of us. And for me that better world starts with first having a positive self image and a positive image of other people and things that I value. Then forgiving myself and others for our faults, and instead of judging, using those qualities or actions or whatever to improve ourselves, and finally always being open to have a new perspective on an old topic, because it will in fact change my experience and thus my life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
